I felt guilty at the time, just about 2 years ago, when we left NY to move to sunny AZ but I knew that I couldn't stay there just because of the guilt. I had to do it for myself, for my husband, for US.
Where I am from, in NY, it is not known for a booming job market or good weather. Both are pretty sucky which is why we packed up and moved. Having a husband from Northern California didn't help either. He hated the snow more than I did and I had lived in it my whole life, a mere 27.5 years. He would moan and complain every day he had to shovel or snowblow or when his car wouldn't get up the driveway because the snow was so packed down.
He made the sacrifice first to move to NY to be with me so I only felt it was right of me to give moving a chance. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Arizona. How can you beat having the sun out almost every day of the year, no snow, hardly any rain?! It's quite amazing. Yes, the summers are H.O.T but again, it beats the snow and having to shovel or snowblow, having to warm up your car at least 15 minutes before leaving the house or having to scrape ice off your windshield for a good 10-20 minutes. You don't have to bundle up or put layers upon layers on. You don't have to worry about the salt from the Snow Plows rusting your car....
Ok, so back to why I feel guilty. I guess I could go on and on about the pros of living in sunny AZ but I won't bore you.
I feel guilty because it's not just about me and my husband anymore, it's about us and our CHILD. He has Grandparents who absolutely adore him who live in NY and Northern Cal. Obviously, I feel more guilty about being away from my parents rather than my In-laws for a couple reasons. 1. Because they are my parents. 2. They are MUCH further from us than Northern Cal.
Northern Cal is only a 11-12 hour drive. Upstate NY is a whole day of plane ride away or a good 3-4 day drive. It's not easy or cheap either way you look at it.
I am the only one who will give my parents grandchildren and now they don't even get to be a part of his life full time. Yes, I feel guilty. It's horrible, it's eating away at me. I try to remember that we can Skype, send pictures and see eachother hopefully 2-4 times a year but it's just not the same.
My Mom is my best friend other than my husband. She knows me the best as she's the one who raised me. She couldn't wait to be a Grandma and I know she missed Preston more than anything. Does she miss me? Yes, of course but I think I've taken a backseat to her Grandson now and I am ok with that.
I really hope to get her to move out here one day......whether that is in 5 years (not going to happen) or 10 years. Hopefully, it is before she is too old.
For us to move back East would just be too hard. Going from this weather to that horrible horrible cold and frigged weather, we would be absolutely miserable. Plus, our little pup wouldn't be able to handle it either, he just loves the heat and sun.
How do you move across the country with a baby/child anyways? That sounds like torture to me. Also, having to sell our house sounds just as horrible.......
So, until we can be close again, my guilt will continue and we will do our best to see eachother as much as possible.
I mean, is there anything better than a Grandmother's love??
Mom....please accept my apology for moving 3000 miles away. I know it's not easy and I miss you just as much as you miss us. I wish we could be close again. I can only imagine the possibilities if we were!
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