Unsolicited advice........

·         It’s always given yet never asked for…………..

·         99% of the time it’s negative advice rather than positive

Here are the few that I’ve been given since becoming pregnant and I am SURE I am forgetting some but I will blame that on being pregnant. ;-)

·         Get your sleep now because you won’t sleep again for the next 18 years

o   Really, people? I’m never going to get a good night sleep for the next 18 years? I highly doubt that! Daddy A and I will work together to ensure we’re both getting the sleep we need. Granted, it may not be that we both get a good night sleep together but if we can coordinate it so we alternate then I am ok with that.

·         Sleep when the baby sleeps

o   As good as this sounds I don’t find that this will always work. There will always be something that needs to be done especially in the first few months of Preston’s life. I will be home for approximately 12 weeks which will be mostly by myself. I will have to do things while he is asleep because 1) I won’t want to put him down when he is awake and 2) how can you get much done when he IS awake and wants to be attached to your boob all day?

·         Date nights will basically be non-existent

o   Now, I know that our date nights will be less frequent but non-existent is a bit extreme, don’t ya think? Luckily, I have made some great friends here who I would trust watching my son. We also plan to look into other babysitters, possibly high school kids, for nights when we want to go out and we need someone close. We will make the time to have Mommy & Daddy time together.

·         Your body will never be the same as it was pre-pregnancy

o   This, I know and understand. It goes through a TON of changes the second fertilization happens. How can it possibly go back to the way it was before all that started? I’m willing to take that sacrifice for my child and future children.

·         “Oh, you’re doing cloth? I tried that and soon realized it was too hard/time consuming/annoying/gross but good luck.”

o   Why is that when you express what you want/don’t want to do with your child that is not part of the “norm”, people give you a look like you have 2 heads or that you’re completely and utterly crazy? I always want to remind them that it is OUR child, not theirs. They will have their time to do as they please when they have their own child or if they already did then they chose to do things their way because it was what fit best for them and their child.

o   Yes, we understand cloth diapering is going to be a bit harder than disposables especially in the beginning but we are up for the challenge for many reasons. All reasons that Daddy A and I have discussed and decided are worth it to us and our baby.

o   So, why/how does it affect others and why is everyone so ready to judge you because you aren’t doing things the way they would/did?

·         “Just get the epidural” or “we’ll see how you are when you’re in labor with no epidural”

o   Oh, this one just IRKS me to no end! Nobody knows how I am going to act when I am in labor, not even myself, so to tell me “we’ll see how you are when you’re in labor with no epidural” is extremely RUDE in my opinion.

o   Again, this is MY body and OUR child so it has NO affect on anyone else but us. Just because “you” couldn’t or didn’t want to try to go med-free, doesn’t mean that I have to subject myself and my baby to an epidural or that I can’t try to do it “naturally”.

o   We have prepared ourselves to have a med-free birth and we’re also continuing to prepare ourselves. We are training my body now so that when the time comes, it’s as easy as pie.

o   This will be a whole other post in and of itself because I could go on and on about this subject so that post will be coming soon.

Why is it that “we”, as a society, focus on the negative and not the positive? Everyone’s willing to give you advice on things but I never hear how amazing your life becomes when you have a child of your own.

I am MORE than excited to birth this baby, to care for him, love him, watch him grow, smell and kiss him, etc. I know it’s not easy but what is easy in life? If everything were easy, wouldn’t life be pretty boring??

I know that the advice has yet to really come and once Preston is here, I will get even MORE unsolicited advice. I just hope that people will soon realize that Preston is OUR child and we want the best for him. We would never do anything to cause him harm or put him in danger.

I may just stop telling people all together what we plan on doing with the birth and our baby. Now, how sad is that?