I had it today, maybe about 30 minutes ago at 40 weeks 5 days pregnant. You would have thought I'd already done this possibly even more than once.
What made me cry, you ask?!
Well, Chris and I are in a group class at our Midwife's office. These classes are to replace the individual appointments so we wouldn't have to worry about showing up to an appointment and our Midwife being gone to deliver a baby. Luckily, this only happened once during the 9+ months we've been going.
Anyways, in our class we had a total of 6 couples including us. We would start off meeting once a month and then maybe in March, we started going every 3 weeks and in April every 2 weeks.
All the couples were due in April except us and K & C. K & C I believe were due today and I was due on Monday, as you all know.
Chris and I became friends with K & C; went out to dinner with them one night, I met K for lunch last week thinking I wouldn't be at work this week (we work very close to eachother), and K & I text almost every day asking how each other is doing.
I said to my Mom today, I will just DIE if K has her baby before I do.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I jinxed myself. Maybe Preston really is going to stay in the womb forever.
About 30 minutes ago, I get a text from K that reads something like this "Any chance I will see you at the hospital tonight? I lost my plug and my water broke, well I think it did. I was in the pool when it happened. Called Janice (our MW) and she thinks so too. She said not to come in until 2am if things don't progress quicker than that. I think this little one is on her way."
I swore a little bit, I'm not going to lie. I told Chris and my Mom who text me and what it said. My Mom said, "Go ahead and cry". I replied, " I really want to". She said "It's ok, I don't blame you".
I really tried to keep it in, really I did but then Chris said "Preston will come out soon".
That's when I lost it. I said, "But I don't FEEL like he ever will" and I began to cry.
I want to meet my little boy. I want to kiss him, squeeze him, love him, show him off to the world, brag about him, cry because I am so happy he is mine, smell his sweet skin, inspect every finger and toe.
And all I can do now is ask WHY is God making us wait? My Mom claims it is because I am not patient and the whole learning process through all of this is to gain some patience. However, we all know that I am not patient nor will I ever be when it comes to waiting for things to happen.
I do want to say I am very happy for K & C. For they get to welcome their much awaited bundle of joy into the world today or tomorow. I am just extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely envious of them. We talked about being in labor at the same time and it's not looking like that's going to happen. All I can hope for now is that Preston will decide to start things tonight or tomorrow that way we'll at least be in the hospital at the same time.
I just think that sounds really fun!
This made me tear up. I know how you feel. It's so hard to be this late, and it's even harder when other people are having their babies, ESPECIALLY if their due dates were later than yours. I had two or three of those happen and I cried every time. Of course you're happy for her, but it's so hard to know that that COULD be you, but it's not. I'm sorry hun. I'm a really impatient person, too, so maybe your mom is right, ha.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Meg. It's so hard because I think 3 or 4 people now, all due after me, have had their babies and here I am at 41 weeks tomorrow still waiting to have mine!
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